


A Touch That Resonates

by YesBothWays



Series: The Body's Intelligence Could Rival The Mind's [11]
Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: F/F, Femslash, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-15
Updated: 2015-07-15
Packaged: 2018-04-09 11:16:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4346516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YesBothWays/pseuds/YesBothWays
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As Delphine and Shay get closer, Delphine learns more about Cosima and Shay's sexual relationship.  As Delphine and Shay draw closer,  they become more interested in one another.  Delphine comes up against her unresolved relationship to being witnessed, as the desire to witness draws her into trying out new things in their relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Touch That Resonates

            Delphine brought a parcel of truffles and a bottle of their usual wine with her to Shay's apartment. Shay cooked a favorite dish from a recipe she had made up a couple of years ago with vegetables and chickpeas that she soaked and slow-cooked and peeled and her own mix of herbs and a very fine olive oil. When Delphine tried her dish for the first time, she had declared that truffles would reveal it as a masterpiece. They were finally going to try it this way.

            Delphine kissed Shay on the cheeks and gave her the parcels she had brought. Shay seemed excited in her own calm and quiet way. Delphine had brought her a stainless steel truffle slicer as a gift. She could tell that Shay was wondering what all she could use it to for with future recipes. Delphine vaguely pictured some kind of medicinal roots being shaved into dishes, as Shay stared at it for a long moment and sat it out on the counter. Delphine could tell she thought about it more as she finished cooking, so she could tell that Shay liked her gift a good deal.

            As they chatted about the previous week, Delphine finally got around to teasing Shay about hurting Cosima's back. She almost regretted this, because Shay gave a groan and made a grimace. She glanced over at Delphine and looked deeply stressed.

            "I didn't know it was happening at the time," Shay said.

            "I know," Delphine said. "Sorry to tease. She claims that it's healing quickly. And, also, that it was entirely worth it."

            Shay looked over at Delphine with a suppressed smile on her face. She was probably wondering whether Delphine knew the full story. She turned again and looked at her closely for a moment before she spoke.

            "She told you about it?" Shay asked her a bit softly.

            Delphine laughed aloud already. She actually felt a bit reluctant to reveal how much she knew about what happened between them for a moment. Cosima told Delphine about her sexual relationship with Shay fairly openly now. Delphine found that she actually liked hearing about what happened between them. Somehow, it also made her feel less stressed to be in a position of knowing.

            So she knew that Shay had pushed Cosima up against a wall for a while then and ended up hauling her over to her desk and getting her to bend over it. Cosima turned around when she finally wanted to kiss her again and just leaned back over it. It all seemed great at the time. But Cosima woke up the next day in pain. That last position was a really foolish one, it turned out, and she was too in the moment to notice it. The desk pressing into her low back had left her surprisingly injured.

            "She did tell me," Delphine said. Shay's current expression of stress hid whether or not she felt embarrassed that Delphine knew so much. "She actually told me about it that night when she came home. Then in the morning, when she was hurt, I said it was probably from that. She denied it for nearly an hour. And then she finally just admitted, quite suddenly, that it obviously was."

            Shay smiled faintly at this. She had actually been working on Cosima's back over the last few days. She felt worse for hurting her than Delphine would have thought. Cosima obviously thought it was an annoyance and nothing more. Delphine thought it was actually somewhat humorous herself.

            "I'm surprised you're not going to fire me from this relationship for damaging your lover with my neglect," Shay said. Delphine laughed in a huff of dismissal at this comment. Shay did not laugh and smiled in a slightly strained way. She meant it as half a joke and half as serious.

            "I am not the boss of this relationship," Delphine said in a tone of incredulity. Shay looked away from her and back up with a smile. "Except when asked nicely," Delphine added, "And then only for a limited time." She saw Shay really crack up at her joke and become almost silent in the shyness of her full laughter.

            "I think you may still find yourself inclined to pose an intervention if I keep messing things up for all of us," Shay said.

            "Please," Delphine said, "Cosima makes her own choices. Besides, we have both chosen to take on bodily risks for much stupider reasons than this one." Shay laughed and smiled at this. "And, honestly, you can't hold us back with this kind of thing. When I was shot and before that when Cosima was ill, we learned all sorts of ways to be together through an injury."

            Shay seemed to really like that idea. She seemed curious about it. She smiled softly and turned back to the food and grew quiet. Delphine looked over her and then glanced at her wine, as she thought. She felt really at ease in Shay's house at this point, she realized. She liked coming here. It took no time for them to get comfortable together nowadays.

            "You should tease her about letting herself get hurt when you didn't yourself in the same encounter," Delphine said. "Just make it a competition, and she'll look out for herself more than that. She's secretly competitive." Shay turned to look at her.

            "I don't honestly think I could pull that off," Shay said. "I feel like an idiot about it, so I would probably just give that away more in the end. Especially, since I already have." She seemed stressed for a moment. "Have you two ever actually hurt each other before?"

            "Oh, I am sure we have," Delphine said. "Not quite like this, though. We have a height difference that helps with… things like this." The last few words came out fast as Delphine wondered if she were getting them too far into this conversation.

            Shay raised an eyebrow and suppressed a smile. She gave half a laugh and held it in along with a grin that peaked through despite her effort to conceal it. She made a gesture towards her head.

            "Sorry… I… just… got a visual," Shay said. "Overactive mind." She turned at once and shut off all the burners on the stove. That meant that their food was essentially ready to be served.  

            Delphine came over and showed Shay how to shave the truffles over their dish. She gave her a small explanation of how she usually used truffles in her own cooking. Shay tasted the dish for the first time and seemed amazed by it already. They stood aside to give it just a moment to settle. Shay got out some dishes and put them on the counter. She took the wine bottle and their two glasses to the table.

            Delphine leaned her back against the counter as she did. When Shay turned around, she seemed to take a particular notice of Delphine standing there in her kitchen. Delphine nearly stood upright in response and realized that her posture had brought her lower. Shay must have noticed this and felt drawn to it somehow, she saw now. So she remained in the same position.

            Shay came over to her, moving almost softly, Delphine thought. She seemed to be looking over Delphine's body while lost in some deep thought or internal focus that Delphine could not read on the surface. She reached out to squeeze Delphine's shoulder slightly and let her hand run down the length of Delphine's arm.

            The touch from Shay's hand felt very precise, as if she felt the shape of her arm all the way through, and almost unique in Delphine's mind. Shay smiled softly and turned away after this moment was shared between them. Delphine felt her own breath pick up again. She must have held it somewhat at the intimacy of the gesture and perhaps the uncertainty. Her arm seemed to resonate with the feel of having been touched, as she sat down. She felt a bit astonished by this.  

            After they finished eating, Delphine stood and washed the dishes while Shay dried them and put them away. Cosima came by, then, so that Shay could work on her back. They had never all three been in Shay's apartment this way, and Delphine felt a little abashed. Cosima seemed comfortable and pleased, other than her back pain, but she did not greet either of them in an intimate way.

            Shay put a mat down. Delphine realized that Shay was too absorbed in what she was doing to be self-conscious, and she leaned herself against the low wall of the kitchen to watch her work. Shay felt her way along the muscles in Cosima's back first, as if taking stock of their current state. She started to work at them very slowly, then she built up to a deep message that looked like it would have hurt if she hadn't eased into it. Cosima lay still and seemed relieved. Shay led Cosima into some stretches after this that she seemed to know already.

            Cosima held a stretch with her back twisted, and Shay pressed on her body to lengthen her spine and add a bit to the depth of the stretch. Delphine felt herself struck by witnessing the two of them in this way. She placed her hand on her own stomach. There was some tenderness and depth to how their bodies seemed to touch when they interacted with one another in such a physical way. There was an intimacy and a comfort communicated between them in some subtle ways that showed more vividly in this moment between the two of them.

            When they had finished, Shay stood and then took Cosima by the hand to help her get up without straining her back. Delphine watched how they held their hands together for a prolonged moment out of habit. She felt as if the love between the two of them could be felt in this moment in her own body. She found herself almost abashed by the experience of watching the two of them. When they turned, they both seemed quite comfortable.

            Cosima and Delphine got ready to leave. Shay gave them each a hug, and Delphine could practically feel the kiss that would have passed between Cosima and Shay that they replaced with a soft look and a smile. Shay leaned in closer to Delphine and kissed her on just one cheek. Cosima stood smiling and trying to act like she wasn't looking closely, as Shay stood back.

****

Delphine found that moments from that evening lingered in her mind in the days that followed. She felt a sort of straining in her own body when she remembered, an energy that she thought must be some kind of longing. She could not quite place it, but she felt that it was lodged there, as if it had taken up residence inside of her that night.

            After another week passed and Delphine spent another evening with Shay that somehow felt similar, Delphine decided that she should say something to Cosima. Something about how their relationship was evolving felt almost romantic to Delphine. She wanted to feel out how Cosima might feel about it as it changed. Delphine thought over this as they cleaned up after they had finished dinner one night and decided to just bring it up.

            "Cosima," Delphine said. Her voice came out a bit too serious, and Cosima gave her a somewhat halted glance. She turned her head a bit at the expression on Delphine's face and waited. Delphine figured she got this far and might as well just go on. "How do you think you would feel if Shay and I got more involved?" Delphine said.

            Cosima held on for a beat in quite possibly the blankest expression Delphine had ever seen her successfully pull off. Her eyes moved over Delphine for a long moment of silence. She swallowed once before she spoke.

            "Do you mean more sexually involved?" Cosima asked candidly. Her tone seemed consciously neutral. Delphine got a bit nervous about the question.

            "Maybe so, but not only that," Delphine said.

            Cosima more or less ignored her words and closely watched Delphine's body language. Delphine got even more nervous as she looked at her. She leaned back into the counter and pushed her hair behind her ear a bit harder than was necessary. Cosima grinned and gave a huff of laughter. She gave a sort of wave of her arm towards Delphine and let it fall.

            "That's like… basically my number one fantasy. Like even more than rope play," Cosima said.

            Delphine's thoughts got so fixated on the rope play comment at first that she forget about how anxious she actually felt for just a moment. Cosima looked almost shy and stood very still. She glanced up at Delphine with her head held at an angle. She smiled again with a softer expression. Delphine felt reminded of the way Cosima stood and looked at her as she was trying to remain cool no matter what happened that first time that Delphine reached and touched her lips, before she drew her up into a kiss. She felt herself smile and soften in response.

            "You've thought about this before?" Delphine said. Cosima blinked slowly and smiled with one side of her mouth, almost a smirk. She gave a shrug, as she blinked slowly again. She worked her lips before she spoke.

            "What can I say?" Cosima said. She grinned and then held it with her expression just a bit strained. She seemed almost coy at the edges of her usual candor to Delphine. Somehow this made Delphine laugh and feel much more relaxed herself.

            Cosima stepped in close to Delphine. She leaned in and let her hips rest against Delphine's. She put her hands to her face a moment, then let them slide down and braced herself a bit against her chest.

            "Is that like gonna' maybe happen do you think?" Cosima said. She was clearly trying to be as casual about this as possible. She looked ecstatic anyway and clearly suppressed a laugh of sheer delight as she waited for a response.

            "I may say something to her," Delphine said.

            "Is it gettin' all sexy?" Cosima asked with a tiny bounce on her knees. Delphine gave her a slightly stressed look. "I'll stop," Cosima said and held up her hands a moment and placed them back on her chest.

            They stood and just looked at one another for a moment. Delphine felt them both relax into it. They could talk about this more later. This was enough for now. Her thoughts shifted then quickly.

            "What was that about rope play?" Delphine said.

            Cosima clearly became embarrassed. She grinned and looked down and sort of swayed side to side. She looked up at Delphine with one eye held closed. Delphine got her hand placed at the back of Cosima's neck and dragged her in even closer.

            "Here… tell me… tell me in my ear," Delphine said in a soft voice full of highly exaggerated seriousness.

            Cosima laughed and leaned into her. She kissed Delphine's neck before she said anything more. Delphine put her arms around her in response, and they stood for a long moment in a remarkably tender embrace.

           

            Delphine found herself interrupted unexpectedly, a few days later, as Cosima came up the stairs to find her. Delphine turned to look over her shoulder. Cosima's expression made Delphine snap into more awareness at once. Delphine was supposed to go meet Shay, and Cosima found her working still instead of getting ready. She was planning to drop Cosima off at Mrs. S.'s house on her way there.

            "Hey," Cosima said. Delphine stood up right away, even though she couldn't get her thoughts out of her work for a moment. She saved her files and closed her computer.

            Cosima came and pulled her close. She drew their hips together but leaned back to look closely at Delphine's face. She smiled gently at her. Cosima's expression made Delphine even more self-aware. She wanted to go back to her work now, because she was nervous. Cosima could see it in her face and feel it in her body and even in her sudden burst of focusing on work stuff in the middle of the evening.

            The last time Delphine was at Shay's apartment and was just about to leave, they had kissed one another on both cheeks. Then Shay simply turned her face a bit more directly to face Delphine, in an uncharacteristic way. They looked close at one another for a moment. Delphine could tell that Shay was thinking the same thing that she was, as Shay put her hand on Delphine's arm.

            "You want to try kissing sometime?" Delphine managed to say. Her voice did not crack, even though she thought it might. It came out a bit lower than usual and sounded steady and almost serious.

            Shay just looked over her face again, as she made the same soft, thoughtful expression she had been before. Her hand ran down Delphine's arm somewhat slowly. She spoke in her usual, soft and casual tone when she answered.

            "Yeah, I want that," Shay said. She smiled then at Delphine, who smiled back at her. Then Shay stepped back, and Delphine left for the night.

            The entire encounter had felt comfortable to Delphine then. She had stopped thinking about it during the week, she realized now. And she felt a suspicion that there was a reason now. Her body felt almost heavy to her in this moment.

            Delphine felt her own hand press to her side, where her injury had been. Cosima noticed this at once. Her eyebrow flicked up. She studied Delphine a bit harder now.

            Delphine suddenly reached and pulled her close and kissed her several times. Cosima responded at once and held her hard in return. When they leaned back a bit, Delphine shook her head as if sobering herself a bit. She smiled softly at Cosima. She knew her eyes seemed sad, but she did not fully know why.

            "You okay?" Cosima asked.

            "I'm fine," Delphine said. It came out so stiff and sudden. Even as Cosima gave a laugh that she could not conceal, Delphine laughed along with her.

            "Is it nerves?" Cosima asked.

            "It must be," Delphine said.

            "Shay's pretty scary," Cosima said. She laughed very gently at her own joke. Delphine could barely think about Shay in this moment.

            As she tried to consider what it was that was bothering her, Delphine felt overwhelmed for a moment. She felt a characteristic defiance as it arose inside herself. She did not like to feel intimidated if she could get a handle on it. She concentrated for a moment. She really wasn't certain what it was that was getting her. She felt herself overcome in some deep way.

            Cosima put her hands to Delphine's face and turned her face up a bit to search her expression for a long moment. Delphine felt her own expression give away a deep pain of anxiety. She pressed her hand to her side again. Cosima seemed almost distressed and held onto her hips. Delphine tried to find the words to explain for a just a moment, as she looked at Cosima's face. She almost wished she could sneak out, but Cosima already knew what her plans for tonight were.

            "No one has ever… witnessed me in this way before," Delphine said. "As I am making these sorts of decisions."

            Cosima listened closely and thought for a moment. She pulled Delphine down a bit to press their foreheads together for a long moment. She touched her almost softly, and the feel of it was steadying in some deep way.

            "Whatever happens will be totally cool with me," Cosima said. She looked at Delphine's expression again. "I get that it's more than that," Cosima said. She seemed to concentrate hard again for a moment. Delphine felt almost relieved after she said this. "But, just, try to get that in there somewhere," Cosima said and made a gesture beside her own head in which she twisted her wrist back and forth, as she mimicked Delphine working the thought into her crowded mind someplace. She smiled at Delphine. "We'll all be fine," Cosima said.

            Delphine focused on Cosima more. Cosima actually looked excited. Delphine thought that was almost funny. She got herself gathered together then and started to lead them out. Cosima seemed to study her for another moment, as if her thoughts were unresolved. But she let Delphine pass it off as over, as they made their way downstairs.

            After Cosima got out of the car, Delphine thought that her emotions cleared up. She found herself taking a wrong turn, and she realized she was heading towards work. Her thoughts felt crowded and preoccupied with work, as well. She felt that this was not a good sign. So she got herself to finally focus on going to Shay's and headed the right direction. Her anxiety came back then. She did not know what else to call it besides this.

            When Delphine pulled up outside Shay's apartment, she just sat for a moment in the near silence of the car as the engine began to cool down. She leaned for a moment into the steering wheel. She realized that she felt cold and almost stiff with it, as if the cold had gotten into her bones. She looked out the window and could not imagine walking up to Shay's apartment building.

            She forced herself to step out onto the sidewalk. And she crossed over the street. Delphine stood then and knew that something was really wrong with her. She didn't know what she wanted anymore, and she could feel her own heart beating. On a sort of instinct, she got out her phone. She called Shay.

            "I don't think I can make it over tonight," Delphine said.

            "Oh," Shay said. She seemed surprised and a little disappointed. "That's fine," Shay said. "I'll catch you next week sometime?"

            "Yes, absolutely," Delphine said. Shay must have caught something in her tone then. Perhaps it felt too professional. Delphine thought her own voice had sounded clear but almost cold.

            "You doing okay?" Shay said. Her voice came out even softer than usual as she said this. Delphine could almost feel that Shay meant her question in reference to the tiny conversation they had last time. She felt herself smile in response.

            "I will be all right," Delphine said. "It's a personal matter," Delphine said vaguely. Shay seemed to consider this for a long moment. She must have decided that if Delphine had wanted to talk about it more, she would have said something other than this.

            "Okay," Shay said. "Bye for now?"

            "Bye," Delphine said.

            Delphine climbed back into her car. She got the engine started and drove towards home. She felt as if she did not have a single thought as she made her way back home, and actually felt relieved when she climbed out and opened up her front door.

            Delphine almost got herself a glass of bourbon from the cabinet, but she decided instead to open a bottle of red wine. She took a glass, the bottle, and her bag up onto the roof. The sun had already set and less than a half moon hung low in the sky. Some of the stars were visible.

            As Delphine sat and lit herself a cigarette, her hands felt weak, as if they were almost shaking. Her mind still held the clear idea that she ought to be over at Shay's right now. She felt like a bit of a delinquent. She had not felt this way in years. It made her remember what it felt like to be a younger woman, to not have complete control over her own life.

            She sat back now and tried to consider her emotions. She almost did not want to think about it. She felt a resistance to her own thoughts, which felt unusual and uncomfortable to her. She felt herself rub hard at her stomach, over her scar, and the touch made her frown.

            Delphine actually laughed as she considered how going over to Shay's with the mere possibility of kissing at some point presented more of a challenge than she used to meet going to meet men for almost certain sexual encounters. She did not have the privacy now that she had then. That seemed to be troubling her somehow.  

            Already, she knew for absolute certain that Cosima would enjoy witnessing her experience with Shay at whatever distance. She could feel her eagerness for it, checked by a desire not to pressure Delphine into anything or raise the stakes as she figured out what she wanted with Shay and Shay did, as well. Delphine even deeply related to this, as the longing to witness, she knew, was what drew her in closer over the past months. Whenever she saw Shay and Cosima together, or even she got a glimpse of Shay's relationship to her sexuality, she felt an urge to draw closer, to see and know more.  

            So she wondered now why she could not feel any of Cosima's excitement about this, vicariously. She usually could feel that kind of thing, at least with Cosima, in other parts of their lives. This now felt like too much. She did not like being witnessed, she realized. It made her feel depressed and anxious. She knew that in some way she actually felt scared.

            Delphine felt a sort of flame of anger rise up in her own body as she recognized this. This was not about Cosima, and it was certainly not about Shay. She knew that this was about her girlhood. There was too much oversight over her life then, too much scrutiny and judgment.

            She thought about Lyra, even though she did not want to and wished she could push her thoughts away. But she wouldn't, as it always felt like a betrayal of her sister to avoid remembering her, even with the greatest of pain. She felt herself come close to weeping immediately. She felt almost afraid to face her own sadness. Finally, she just leaned forward and put her face in her hands. After a long moment, she wept openly.

            Delphine could remember a dozen moments, then, quite suddenly, from her own childhood. Lyra had seen a boy, one summer, in secret. Delphine knew in some way that she should not hide the relationship along with her, but she also felt like she had to do it out of commitment to Lyra. Her mother found out, and she could almost feel the way she had yelled at the two of them and the way Lyra wept as she did in her own body even now.

            Delphine felt a wave of utter resentment towards practically all of the adults in her young life, a feeling which used to carry with it a distinct edge of elitism based in scientific rationality. It seemed to carry even more than that with it now. They had killed Lyra, Delphine thought, trying to make the two of them good. And for what? She was not even sure what her parents, their community, even her school wanted of the two of them.

            Delphine sat out and drank another glass of wine in series of slow, calm drinks. She calmed down and looked out at the stars, which came out more vividly. She decided to let herself go ahead and get somewhat drunk. She had nearly finished the bottle of wine and had not noticed the hours that must have passed when she heard someone on the stairwell. She knew by the sound of her movements, already, that it was Cosima before she came up enough to be seen.

            "Hey," Cosima said.

            Cosima came over and instead of taking the other chair, she knelt down beside Delphine. Delphine was leaning back in the chair, and she leaned forward to get close to Cosima. The kissed immediately, and Delphine felt another sort of flame rise up in her chest, a gentle and passionate one now that nonetheless held resonance with the hotter and more painful one from before.

            Cosima leaned back, and Delphine could tell that she had conflicting instincts. She clearly wanted to ask Delphine about her night, but she also seemed to want to take Delphine downstairs and right to bed. She sort of looked around for a moment, as if thinking. Cosima turned back to her and smiled. She sort of dragged Delphine by the hand a bit, and Delphine realized that she wanted them to lie down together on the roof. She felt in a strange and slightly reckless mood herself and was also halfway drunk, so she did.

            They lay there together, side by side, on the black material that covered the rooftop. Cosima pushed the iron chair away from them a bit. She made a nerdy comment after a long silence about the unique visibility of Mars, as she pointed to it, and wondered aloud if you could see Venus this time of year. Delphine came up onto her elbow for long a moment. She found Venus for her and pointed it out. Cosima sat up with her, so that she could see.  

            When they lay back down, they turned towards each other. They stalled for a long moment, as if to consider each other fully for a moment. Cosima came up then onto her side, and Delphine turned to meet her. She put one arm under her head and put her arm around Cosima's waist. She felt astonished by the shape of her tonight. Her body seemed like nothing short of a miracle to Delphine.

            They ended up making out there on the rooftop for what must have been a couple of hours. Cosima finally asked about Delphine's night at Shay's, and Delphine told her that she could not get herself to go there. Cosima remained relaxed about this, and her response was unreadable. After a while, she asked Delphine if she wanted to talk about it.

            Delphine went ahead and attempt to more or less describe her experience to Cosima, who lay quiet and just listened. Delphine knew that Cosima would not really understand, but Cosima looked down over her body as she spoke and listened closely and tried her best to understand, Delphine knew. She leaned in and kissed Delphine and lay close to her. It would be easier to describe to Shay, Delphine thought. At that idea, she gave a sigh, and, in response, Cosima put her arm around her tight.

 

            Delphine walked confidently up to Shay's apartment building less than a week later. It seemed that her spooks from before held far less intensity now. She looked up to see that Shay had come down to meet her on the sidewalk. Shay gave her an almost shy wave.

            "Walk with me to the store?" Shay said.

            "Of course," Delphine said. She tucked the wine bag she was carrying into her side bag. Then she followed Shay along their way.

            Shay took them a few blocks to a fancy little gourmet food shop, as they chatted about their weeks. Shay bought a couple of lemons and some white peppercorns. Delphine looked at the olive oils while Shay paid.

            When they got back and went inside, Delphine suddenly realized that Shay had probably already intended to come down and give her a reprieve before bringing her upstairs. The idea made her smile softly. She often missed what Shay was doing, it came so subtly.

            They cooked together and ate dinner. Shay seemed to have a lead on a new job. She also told Delphine that Kate had mentioned the idea of someday starting a private practice together. Delphine could tell from the ambivalence of her tone that Shay really wanted this. From what she described, it seemed like a good idea. Kate seemed like potentially a great business partner. Shay seemed to Delphine exert an almost excessive self-control, as if in order to determine whether it was a good idea despite her feelings about it. She had a lot of time to consider it, which Delphine thought was good for Shay in general.

            After they cleaned up, Shay seemed a bit quiet even for herself to Delphine. She could not read what she was thinking as she looked her over. She saw Shay glance over her and her look was a bit more lingering than usual. Delphine felt herself stand straighter, as if her body brightened at this.

            Shay gave her an almost shy grin, as they finished and made their way, without words, into the living room. Delphine ran her hand across her stomach and felt a slightly sharp energy there that was pleasurable and not painful. She felt aware of how close Shay came to her, as she followed her into the room at first. Then she seemed to linger back a bit, as if to see where they should go. Delphine determined, quite suddenly, to take charge and initiate a kiss between them. She stood up straighter for a just a moment.

            Delphine sat herself on the arm of the couch. This brought her lower, and she could see that Shay saw what she meant by this right away. She came closer. Delphine saw Shay consider stepping in between her legs, but she came in close just beside her instead. Shay just stood near her and looked over Delphine for a moment, as if deciding herself what they should do. Delphine considered reaching out and pulling her into a kiss, but she hesitated, as she watched Shay. Shay turned to her then and brought a hand to Delphine's chest, over her collarbone. She pressed it there, and then she brought her other hand up to the other side.

            Delphine held still. Shay looked at Delphine's mouth for a moment and pressed her own lips together as she did. She looked back up at her eyes to see her expression. She waited for another moment, then she leaned down and touched her lips, very lightly, to Delphine's. Delphine kept her hand from reaching out and pulling Shay into a harder kiss out of some form of habit. She let Shay direct their kisses. Shay kept them light and turned away for just a moment after the first one, as if to process it before she kissed her again.  

            By the time Shay kissed her what might have been a fifth or sixth time, their kisses lingered longer. And Shay brought her hands to the sides of Delphine's face. Delphine finally let her hands come to Shay's arms at this and held her somewhat closer to herself. Her body seemed baffled somewhat that she had not taken hold of Shay already and brought her into a harder and deeper set of kisses.

            The feeling of her response to their kisses felt lighter in her chest than usual. She thought of it almost as a flutter of both excitement and pleasure. She felt a little bit stunned by this. This was new to her experience. And she did not quite know how to do this, whatever she was doing now.

            Delphine had to turn away from their kissing for a moment to steady herself. She noticed how patient and relaxed Shay seemed as she did and turned back to her. She looked closely at Shay's face. Shay's eyes seemed soft and a little heavy in this moment.

            "Is it okay?" Shay asked. Her tone felt light, but the softness of her voice gave the question a degree of gravity. She seemed to study Delphine as she waited for her response.

            Delphine simply nodded. She turned a bit on the couch, as her perched position lost a bit of its ease. Shay gave the slightest gesture with her head to ask if she wanted to move and sit on the couch together.

            They sat and kissed for a while after this. Delphine kept feeling her instincts to take them further checked by some other desire. She felt almost distracted by the feel of Shay's hands as they moved over her. She touched Delphine's arms and her back. She touched her sides and her neck and pressed her hands into her hair to touch the base of her neck.

            There was something about Shay's touch that made Delphine want more of it. Her touch felt steady and deep somehow. She found it almost calming, even more than she found it exciting.

            They ended up kissing gently for a long time. When they seemed to be drawing to a close, Delphine realized that they had not kissed with tongue. She sat back a bit and looked over Shay, as she considered her. They would stop soon, she could feel.

            So, as sort of experiment, she let herself move in closer and draw Shay up and into the arm of the couch. She kissed her more deeply and opened her mouth. She touched their tongues together, as she pressed harder into Shay for a moment.

            The deepened touch held that same deep, gentle quality to it somehow. Shay's eyes were heavy when Delphine grew back. She seemed almost thoughtful.

            Delphine got ready to go slowly. They shared one final kiss before she left, as she stood near the door in her coat. Delphine stood and looked closely at Shay's expression for a moment. There seemed to be a remarkable tenderness their between them, as if their kissing had brought it out even more.

 

            Delphine came home. Cosima charged down the stairs and into the living room to meet her. She stopped at the bottom. She seemed to be observing Delphine closely, and Delphine felt her back straighten at this. It still gave her pause, even though under Cosima's gaze, she did not feel inclined to hold anything close or become reserved.

            "Hey," Cosima said. Delphine greeted her in return. "I'm just making some tea. Want some?" Cosima said.

            "Yes," Delphine said. She followed Cosima into the kitchen. Delphine stood inside the doorway as Cosima put together two cups with bags of tea and poured the water.

            "What was it like?" Cosima asked her quite eager when she finished and turned around. She seemed to have been holding it in. The tea was a strategy to stay cool for a minute or so. Delphine stood smiling at her. Cosima stood looking closely at Delphine.

            "It was good," Delphine said. Cosima's body shifted in clear disappointment at this. She could tell already some of how it had gone by Delphine's body language, but she wanted to hear about it, as well, Delphine could see. She did not really have the words, she felt.

            "Could you at least, like, try to be slightly more specific about it?" Cosima said.

            "It went well, Cosima," Delphine said. Cosima made an annoyed face. "I don't know how to describe these things," Delphine said. "It's not like I write erotica for work."

            "Erotica, huh?" Cosima said. "I don't know, Delphine, some of your reports… get me all hot under the collar…" Delphine gave her a blank, hard stare. Cosima grinned at her. She stared at Delphine for a long moment, as if waiting for something. Cosima strained her body in a gesture that clearly meant, _Come on._ "Tell me something," Cosima said. She gave a springing gesture from her knees to get Delphine to talk. "Did you want to like… rip off her clothes and push her into a wall?" She was actually grinning. Delphine laughed and almost blushed.

            "No, I can't say I did," Delphine admitted. "But I did want to kiss her again. Many times. So there." She gave a gesture with her hand as if that should be enough. Her voice came light and a bit appeasing, as if she were trying to give evidence of some desire for Cosima to see. Cosima practically leaned in closer to her to hear more. She waited a moment, but Delphine did not know what else to say.

            "Was it… was it all tense, though? Was it like when we first kissed?" Cosima asked.

            "You're going to make a comparative study out of this?" Delphine said with an involuntary, incredulous tone in her voice. She could see that Cosima already wanted to retract the question or at least how she phrased it.

            "No, sorry. I just… I pictured it like a hundred different ways. I am like dying for some kind of impression of what it was like," Cosima said.

            Delphine watched her expression for a moment. She actually wished that she could give her what she wanted and answer her question. She really did not know what to say. An idea came to her then, and she turned back to Cosima.

            "Call Shay," Delphine said. She took her tea then and went up the stairs. She glanced back at Cosima's eager, searching face as she did and gave her a slight grin. She knew that Cosima watched her go for a long moment.

            Delphine started to take off her jewelry. She was absolutely certain Cosima really would break, set against her own curiosity, and call Shay. She heard her say hi a moment later and laughed. She could tell right away that Cosima got more of what she wanted from Shay.

            Delphine started to get undressed. She thought she might take a bath and that she might take Cosima with her. She lingered a bit to see what Cosima wanted to do. When only a few more minutes passed, Delphine heard Cosima come more or less charging up the stairs. She hit the top stair already in a sort of swagger. She pulled Delphine's hips in close to hers and circled her around once. Delphine leaned back, when they stopped, into the dresser. She was preparing to get a bit low, so they could kiss easily, and she put her arms over Cosima's shoulders. Cosima seemed remarkably happy.

            Cosima leaned in and kissed Delphine. She opened their mouths and kissed her deeply right away. She stood back then and worked her mouth and looked absolutely thrilled and a bit preoccupied for a moment. Delphine realized that she was trying to see if she could taste Shay's mouth on her own. She gave a huff of laughter and an expression very faint shock as she hid her mouth with her hand by instinct. Cosima saw how surprised she was as this caught her off her guard.

            "I am actually a huge pervert. You're about to find out," Cosima said.

            She bounced a bit on her knees. Delphine smiled at her and got her composure back. Delphine's thoughts drifted back to the feel of Cosima's kiss and distracted her. Cosima saw her wanting more and took her face in her hands and kissed her again. Delphine felt her whole body rise up in a sort of tension and heat of longing right at once.

            "I'm gonna' take you to bed," Cosima said as if announcing this with some pride. Delphine laughed and then stood up straight. Cosima stood there grinning and looking at her for her response. She gave Cosima an open look.

            "Are you going to lead the way?" Delphine asked.

            Cosima just grinned for another moment, then she grabbed hold of Delphine and drew her up against herself almost hard. As they kissed each other nearly rough, they both grew heavier with the feel of it. Their joking faded out for the rest of the night.

 ****  
  



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